Friday, 11 September 2015

And what time do you call this?

Where the hell have you been? I've been here the whole time, ready to write away for what I thought was a kind, considerate group of people, eager to read my words over and over again. But everytime I went to publish something- nothing. Nobody was here. What's the point in me writing if you're not going to be here?!

Seriously, I don't have time to do this anymore, if you're SO interested in my stupid life then do a Twitter, or do a YouTube, or do an AOR.

Any of those will do better than this.

Thursday, 6 August 2015

Mr. Controversial will stand by Codemasters.

No fanciful writing, no gimmicks, no building up the thing to sound professional.

Every year, the F1 game comes out and is instantly under fire for a million things, most of which aren't particularly important. Codemasters take the flak and where possible, do bits and bobs to help the situation.

F1 2014 could have been and should have been a far easier and simpler game. We all knew that F1 2014 was a filler for the move to next gen with F1 2015. Codies wanted the time to focus more of their limited resources to that. Which I totally understand and honestly, that's what they should do.

All F1 2014 needed to be, was F1 2013 with '14 cars and tracks. No new features, no new modes. Literally a copy/paste game would have been fine. F1 2013 was grand game, handling wasn't bad, graphics weren't bad, and the playability was all-round good, both on and off-line.

But for some reason, they didn't do that. They faffed around, and messed it up, the easiest game to make, and they ruined it. They introduced a new handling model specifically for the controller/pad, which basically ruined it. The steering was awful and there was an in-built traction control which provided a huge advantage over the wheel users, who had to deal without TC, with the new 2014 power units.

This lead to some leagues being separated to wheel only and pad only, which ultimately isn't what we want.

We all knew that 2015 should be better, but the 2014 debacle ruffled a lot of feathers and unfortunately, with social media and all the ways that the community can communicate with the developer, it ultimately lead to a lot of public and very visible bad publicity, slating Codemasters and their games.

After F1 2015 was delayed earlier this year, people became suspicious once again, that the game was going to be terrible and it would be 2014 ported onto next-gen. As time passed, more and more press got a hold of the game and the things they were saying were not just positive, but they were way beyond the expectations we, as a community, had. Press were hailing this as best Codies have ever done, and a real simulator, breaking away from the arcade farce of F1 2014.

The closer we got to the release date, the entire community was orgasming all over itself at how good this game was regarded to be. All the game-footage leading up to release had been good, this, surely had to be the one Codies got right.

Then it came, release date and immediately, it was the worst game ever. It hadn't been out for more than 2 hours before the community were slating it at every angle.

I played it when I got home from work and I was extremely impressed, the handling felt amazing, it looked brilliant, and most of all, it was fun! The single player was - and still is - absolutely brilliant. The A.I. fight back, properly fight back and it's glorious to see.

Then we get to multiplayer... which is where, I'm afraid, it all goes a bit south. The online is not great. There were a whole host of issues with online, which I'll not list. But what annoyed me most is that people were instantly kicking off, demanding refunds for something that had been out for less than 24 hours.

We are in an annoying era of gaming, where games don't get released when they're finished. They get released when it's convenient, and the developers could do with a cash injection. Which leaves the games to be finished via downloadable patches post-release. It's very frustrating that this has become the norm, just look at how unfinished Project CARS was, and still is to a degree, and that was in development for 4 years!

A few weeks have passed now and since release we've had a patch which seems to have fixed some of the problems, but exaggerated others. Now Twitter is exploding, calling for Codemasters to give the licence up and never to make games again. There's a poll, asking what the community wants Codies to prioritise - it's the most ridiculous list I've ever seen.

Do they think that Codemasters is run by apes? Do they think Codemasters deliberately cause these issues? Give over

The list in question includes 'More focus on fixing bugs' and 'Bring back classic cars' HOW ARE THEY EVEN COMPARABLE?!

It infuriates to no end to see this, and it angers me even more when people in an instant slag off hard work. Having been on the receiving end of such useless and cynical criticism after putting a lot of time and effort into something for it to be dismissed within seconds.

The community right now, "Oh F1 2015? Yeah it's shit." Yes, I'm sure the developers love that, the hundreds of staff members who spent months working on that game, the thousands of hours work put into that just for some little grotesque twat on the internet with a twitter account to go - "It's shit"

How do you expect Codemasters to get a break when the entire community is at war without self about what it wants?

There are 23 things on that list! How the fuck can you prioritise 23 things? Even if you picked the top 5 things on that list, the community would constantly be on your back about the other 18 you haven't touched, BECAUSE THE COMMUNITY ASKED YOU TO PRIORITISE.

I cannot express how dumb the list is and how irritating the community are in that respect. There attitude seems to be right now, "Can you make us a completely bespoke game for each of us and can you do it now and we don't want to pay any more for it, and if you don't then you're just shit"

Then again, Codemasters have got their goals in all the wrong places, they're trying to create a game for all types of players, casual gamers to hard-core league races. Which inevitably won't work, trying to balance that out is very difficult. I feel F1 2015 is the closest to a sim as it ever has been, but for some that isn't enough.

The community, especially some F1 YouTubers, are first to slate the company, saying that there is no excuses for online issues when the community would help test it for them if they asked. Really? So you'd trek yourself off to Codies HQ, and test online sessions for them, unpaid, and in your own time? And considering most companies don't do weekends it would be in the week, so you'd need time off work, to pay travel costs, and not earn money doing it? Give over.

I tell you what a lot of the problem is, Codemasters have said before they don't have an infinite budget, so they can't include a lot of the things they want to. Which is fair enough comment, things cost money at the end of the day. But Codemasters are the Official game developer of Formula 1. Video-games are big business and get to a huge audience.

In a time where Formula 1 is in crisis, dropping TV audiences and criticism from all sides. If I were at the top of the sport, and my first name was Bernie, and considering how much profit Formula 1 makes as a business, I wouldn't think anything of it to chuck a few million at Codemasters. They're representing YOUR sport. Help them do a good job.

Rant over.

Monday, 13 July 2015

Formula 1 British Grand Prix - 3rd to 5th July 2015

I'm not going to hold back, I was a little doubtful as we headed towards Silverstone early Friday morning, I forked out a lot of money to attend the British Grand Prix and in a season where I switched a race off and have come close to doing the same again recently, I was very sceptical about the whole weekend and whether I'd wasted my hard-earned money or not.

Arriving about half way through FP1, the field we were sent to park in meant our nearest entrance to the circuit was at Woodcote. The F1 cars about as loud as I was expecting, but that's not a problem for me. The GP2, GP3 and Porsches were definitely louder, but whereas the GP2's V8 screams and wails at the top of their lungs, the V6 Turbo whooshes, I've always liked the sound of the this new era of Formula 1 and I have to say, they sound even better in the flesh, except the Honda which sounds broken; irreparably broken.

Heading clockwise, we set off walking around the circuit, meaning the first time I saw an F1 car on track was at Copse. A mightily impressive corner at the best of times and I cannot express enough how unbelievably fast the F1 guys take that corner. Even the Manor Marussia looked ridiculously fast through it. The speed is immense and the TV cameras don't do justice to the ability these cars have.

Next up came one of the greatest combination of corners on the planet, Maggots, Becketts and Chapel. It takes an F1 car a matter of seconds to get from Copse to Maggots, but on foot, it's a few minutes. The entry into Maggots is mind-boggling, the sparks flying, the throttle hard down before a little lift to get the car prepared for Becketts, all the while planning the good exit out of Chapel onto the Hangar straight, the cars looked amazing through there and took my breath away as they flew past me at a couple hundred miles an hour.

The Hangar straight is a long one, really long. Like 30 minutes walk long. All the while hearing the whooshes and the whistles zooming past was really nice, very surreal almost.

We headed for Stowe, our destination for the weekend.  What a view that is, you can see from Becketts all the way around to Club, it's brilliant and again, the speed through there is jaw-dropping.

Fast forward to Sunday, a packed grandstand was a given but the different type of people there was inspiring. Young, old, men, women from all across the country. There were an old-couple sat in front of us, head to toe in Ferrari gear, and quite obviously Italian. Travelling over the continent to support a team? That is commitment.

I actually quite liked them being there, their red gear was so bright the bugs were attracted to them more.

As for the race, well what a race!

We had it all, the Merc's getting jumped at the start, some silly accidents, some overtaking and some mixed weather.

I won't go into the race too much, just because what I've written is too long as it is and I'm bored of writing now.



Sunday, 21 June 2015

My Rant on Formula 1. [Formula 1 Austrian Grand Prix - 19th - 21st June 2015)

Once again, for the second race in a row, I find myself writing mid-race. The Austrian Grand Prix is currently underway and I cannot emphasise enough the issues that surround the world of Formula 1.

An early accident between Raikkonen and Alonso neutralised the race before the end of lap 1. Once the safety car pitted, the race was all but over. Lewis had no response to Nico this weekend, Nico has been on top of the car and has been absolutely on it.

We've seen a little bit of side-by-side action. Grosjean and Nasr went wheel to wheel through the middle sector, which was rather good, Bottas pulled a lovely out-side pass on someone, I can't remember who.

After 8 laps of racing after the safety car went in, the top 10 were covered by 20 seconds. 20! That's nearly a third of the track. At half distance, the top 10 are covered by nearly a minute. How on earth do you expect racing to happen when the drivers are nowhere near each other?

Here is that tier:

Lotus/Force India
Toro Rosso
Red Bull/Sauber

Williams keep banging on about challenging Ferrari but they just can't.
Red Bull not only seem to be under-powered, but being out-performed by the junior team.
How much did Honda get it so wrong? Why didn't McLaren do the deal, but just not tell anyone so Honda could test and develop as much as they want without the FIA strict regulations.

But no, they're languishing at the back in with a power unit that's under-powered, thirsty, unreliable and sounds terrible with two world champions whose talents are being wasted in that heap of junk. Yet the come out, week in, week out saying "Oh you know, it's alright, it'll get there, we just need time you know" No. Not the point, what an absolute joke. 50 place penalties between the McLarens this weekend and neither made it past 25% race distance.

DRS seems to be either too overpowered or not powerful enough. The cars cannot run closely enough to allow them to follow enough between fast corners.

Formula 1 is really starting to annoy me. The sport is at war with itself, there is little, to no competition. The penalty system is ridiculous. All the action happens in the first couple of laps, then it might as well be a track day. I'm fed up of hearing, "This is fascinating" and "This is interesting" Interesting is a terrible word, it doesn't mean anything. It's just mush. It doesn't mean good, it doesn't mean bad. It's just letters without meaning.

I want exciting. F1 in 2012 was exciting. 7 different winners in the first 7 races, I think the biggest and most dominant victory was... ugh, Mercedes, with Nico Rosberg at China at about 20 seconds. A 20 second lead is commonplace in Formula 1 now.

The races mid to late season were still good, even with that annoying Vettel started winning again.

I'm fed up with F1 as a whole. Do something. And do it fast. I've forked out a lot of money to go the British GP in two weeks, it had better be worth it.

Race still isn't finished, on lap 63.


A very annoyed Stevie.

Monday, 8 June 2015

Formula 1 Canadian Grand Prix 5th - 7th June 2015

The Canadian Grand Prix, the home of many a great race. The home of a great race track, the high-speed Monaco. The walls are just as close but the speeds are so much higher. Always a favourite of mine to watch and drive.

Recent years have been good for the circuit. 2011 race was a race never to be forgotten, an all-time classic with Jenson Button taking the victory on the final lap from Sebastian Vettel. 2012 was great too with Alonso, Vettel and Hamilton scrapping it out, ultimately with the Briton taking the win. 2013 wasn't great but had it's moments but 2014 ramped back up to the standard we expect from Canada. Red Bull's Daniel Ricciardo took an unexpected and first win after Mercedes faltered.

This time around, we were expecting more of the same. The race had all the ingredients for a good race. No, it had all the ingredients for a GREAT race.

A Ferrari and a Williams out of position, the Mercedes were matched fairly evenly through the most part of qualifying and were set to continue their fight from last year before it was brought to a halt by mechanical failures. It was all looking rather good.

A few months back, for the first time ever, I switched off an F1 race. That was Malaysia, whilst most of the paddock and fans ran around praising what a great race it was, I switched it off at about half distance.

I nearly did it again for this race. There was overtaking, sure. It was all in a straight line with DRS. Only really notable things to pick up from the race was Alonso's personal, but short duel with Sebastian Vettel. Massa and Ericsson going wheel-to-wheel for a couple of corners and that's about it. It was not an interesting race, Lewis played with Nico the whole race, like a cat playing with a mouse, teasing him into thinking he had a shot, then as soon as the German got to about 1.2 seconds, Lewis pulled away again.

With 20 laps to go I muted the TV, and went on AOR. I put some music on and only glanced at the TV, rather than watching it.

Canada almost promises a great race; a good race at the very least. This wasn't. This was rubbish. Formula 1 is in a sad state if Canada can't put on a good show.

Unfortunately I feel like we're in for more of the same in the coming races. Austria is next and it is yet another power circuit, so it'll be the Manor Marussia's at the back with McLaren, both of whom should've sat the season out and had a year of testing, not governed by the FIA's strict rules.

After that it's Silverstone. The first race F1 event I'll be attending. It's cost a lot of money and if it's as lacklustre as this race, I'll not be going back.

That's all there is to say really.



Saturday, 30 May 2015


I have started writing this four or five times, and I just can't seem to get a right starting spot. I tried over

Over here.


But nothing seems to work, so I'm just going to ramble in a hope it'll get things in motion. 

I'm now going use the phrase I hate. The most over-used, cringe-worthy phrase that exists in every politician's speech, every TV program and behind-the-scenes story.

This is my journey to AOR.

A few years ago, I was scouring the YouTube, and I stumbled upon a video called Overtakes of the week, published by RyanL83 (F1 YouTuber), I looked through his back-catalogue and found a co-op series he'd done, with another F1 YouTuber, FisiFan91. I watched part of the Brazil race on F1 2012 and subsequently went to check out Fisi's channel, where I was blown away. I quickly started watching the Offical ARL Highlights of the Xbox 360 F1 leagues, I was immensly impressed at how well the videos were made, the great commentary by xMattyG1 and the racing that was being shown, despite Noble2909 winning nearly everything. 

I began following a lot of the Xbox 360 F1 drivers on Twitter and one day, early 2014, one night in particular, I remember Fisi, getting very confused why people were asking him what had happened to the site. Having never previously visited the site, it didn't mean much to me but the fact that so many people were raising concerns surprised me. 

Having been on and off the newly reformed and renamed site, AOR, I joined the site as a general member in August 2014 and despite not actively racing in the leagues, I still enjoyed my time on the site. It had all the F1 news posted there, a general chat section and a motorsport specific area, where I spent a lot of my time. The community were great and I enjoyed going through the league threads and reading up on how peoples races were going. The quality of the site always surprised me, everything worked, it was more alive, than sites like BBC and SKY, who only did news. So to have a community based website was rather different. It also amazed me to see how many staff members they had, including FisiFan91, who was basically the guy who owned it all. 

At the start of February, I decided that AOR was so good, that I would start donating my money to the site, to enable it to continue running. I upgraded my membership and became a Premium Member.

At a similar time, I started running social events on Forza Motorsport 4 in the SEAT Leon SuperCup, it was a single make race with no upgrades/tuning. A purely driver focused series. Over a few weeks they grew and started gathering a bit of momentum, I made highlights for a while to promote them and at one point even considered turning the into a league, I laid down all the ground-work on a 4 page Google Doc, I had help from a friend and we planned to run the league together. 

Unfortunately, after our 7th event and what was planned to be the final social before the league was set to start, the level of driving that was being produced was not at the high standard I was expecting. So I pulled the plug on the leagues, I didn't want to do it but I wasn't willing to put the work into a championship where the drivers in question can't respect simple rules.

The socials stopped and I just went back to being a quiet member on the site. Until Project CARS came a long. Interest and momentum gathered quickly on the site. One night, about 11pm, Fisi started a thread asking people to message him if they thought they had all the necessary requirements and fancied becoming a member of the Project CARS team, planning the upcoming leagues for the game and then helping run them.

I looked at it and thought, "... well, why not?"

I put forward my 'application' so to speak, and within a week I was one of three new staff members on AOR, Project CARS coordinator for Xbox One.

Over the past few weeks, I cannot express how much I have enjoyed my time as a staff member on AOR. It's been mad, we've planned, put into place and are almost running the leagues now. I was off work last week, and I devoted 90% of my time to AOR, even now I'm back at work, I check AOR in the morning, and as soon as I get home I'm back on it. The enjoyment I get out of doing AOR stuff is unparalleled.

There is such a sense of working as a team. And an even larger feeling of doing a good job. Everyone pulls their weight and everyone works hard. The effort that is put into the leagues and the site in general is just on different level. I have never worked so hard in my life, which is funny, because it doesn't feel like work. I get my enjoyment from 'working' for free on a website than I do in my actual job, where I get paid, which I've openly said before is a job I like.

However, I have already decided that if I were to win the lottery or come into considerable money, then I would quit my actual job, devote a few thousand to AOR to cement it's future and pay for any
extra stuff that would crop up and devote my time 100% to AOR.

I have never been a proud man, especially when I answer questions on and I just get angry or depressed, but right now, as a member of the AOR community, I am proud. 

Wednesday, 27 May 2015

Formula 1 Monaco Grand Pix 21 - 24th May 2015

Monaco. The Glitz, the glamour, the one they all want to win.

The one where the track limits are defined by a shiny barrier, more than willing to convert your fancy Formula 1 car into an immediate write off in a very short amount of time. It's been Nico Rosberg's home for the past few years (Quite literally)

Monaco is unique for me because it's the only track where I enjoy watching qualifying more than I enjoy watching the race.  Qualifying around Monaco is a delight, low fuel, fresh tyres, the best in the business absolutely on it. Even the McLaren Honda looked great around there, doing a little justification that they actually have a decent chassis/aero package.

From a virtual perspective, I love driving Monaco on my own. With others it's just carnage. My favourite bit has got to going through Tabac and then blitzing past the swimming pool, that is an absolute joy. Getting pole around Monaco is almost like winning somewhere else, and that's because in part, it is.

For qualifying, Monaco is great. For racing? Monaco is probably the worst track there is. It simply doesn't work. The first half of the race was pretty monotonous, the glorified convoy. Only after all the pit-stops had taken place did the race hot up.

First point of call is the Max Verstappen and Romain Grosjean incident. There's a hype about the Dutchman that the paddock is buying into and I think he is running with it too. Whilst Verstappen was wise to use Vettel to get past cars, announcing it over the radio was not smart. It's a bit like running towards someone and saying "When I get to you, I am going to punch you in the face!" So they'll be braced and ready to thump you first... or simply step out of the way.

Grosjean put him in his place at Monaco and well done to the Lotus driver. He placed his car perfectly. He let the lapping Vettel pass him without allowing the 17 year old the opportunity to overtake too.

Unfortunately his hard work was undone when we went on-board with Verstappen through La Rascasse, and as soon as we did, I knew what was coming. Up through the final corner and along the pit-bend, I was telling Verstappen to go left because Grosjean will defend. And he did defend it and Max went straight into the back of him and straight into the wall at a fair old rate.

Totally Verstappen's fault, even if Grosjean braked early, it is the responsibility of the car behind to avoid the accident and he didn't do that.

I'm not going to lie, I'm not convinced about Verstappen, Carlos Sainz Jr. is doing just as good (if not better) of a job and is getting little to no credit. Monaco will have taught Verstappen a lesson or two.

Next point of call is Mercedes.

All I can do really is quote Ted Kravitz, from Sky Sport F1, "Where did they think they were? IT'S MONACO! Track position is king here"

The maths, the calculations, the data, whatever you want to call it. It's pointless, bringing Lewis in was dumb, and if he asked to stop, then he should have been told that nobody else had stopped. It's so easy to defend around Monaco. Plus, do you really think the Mercedes cars were going to start going wheel-to-wheel in the final few laps of the race with that annoying red car right behind them, ready to pick up the pieces?

The pack were closer in Monaco than expected, especially as Vettel held onto Rosberg the entire race. I'm sure it'll be normal service resumed in Canada.



Thursday, 14 May 2015


This will be very to the point.

I do not like kids. In fact, I despise them. I hate everything about them. I hate what is expected of you. I hate how you're judged based on your actions. I hate a lot of things.

I hate when they're babies. They're just gurgling, crying balls of human mush.
I hate when they're toddlers. They're barely aware, gurgling, crying and attention seeking little humans.
I hate when they're children. When they can communicate. When can interact.
I hate when they're teenagers. Moody fuckers that disagree with everything anybody says.
I like when they're adults. Because they're no longer children.

People with kids expect you to love their child as much as they do. They feel you should be happy that their reproductive organs work.

This rant is not without context. Let me elaborate.

I am currently, at home. Like I usually am.
I share my house with my Mum, Aunt and Uncle. My Aunt and Uncle have the bottom half of the house. My Mum and I have the top.

My Aunt and Uncle currently have their grand-kids over.

A few weeks ago, the kids came upstairs, ran along the corridor to my room, opened the door and ran off. Then repeated the feat 6 times. This behaviour is immediately annoying after one time. So by the 6th, I shouted "Enough now" down the corridor. And they stopped. Since then, I haven't seen or spoken to them.

I don't want to see or speak to them. I have no interest in them. I don't know how to interact with them and I simply don't want to. I'm quite content, sat in my room. ON MY OWN.

Now, about an hour ago, one of them, ran along the corridor, opened my door and ran off. Well, since they last did this. I've had a new door fitted. It has a lock. So I locked the door.

They came back, it wouldn't open. Hah. Stevie wins.

Obviously. Of course I'm wrong. Why would I be right?

Apparently, after discussing with my Mum. They have made me a thing. And want to give it to me. I'm the bad guy for not taking it.

Part of the bullshit production this is. I'm supposed to be all gratuitous and kind and be ever so thankful they've made this wonderful picture for me. I simply don't care. I have more important things in my life that need my attention. Why should I have to pretend to care. Why should I have to go along with the fake thing about being thankful for a piece of paper. This is my room. My domain. My space. They should be kept downstairs where they are supposed to be.

I accept this is incredibly selfish behaviour I am displaying. I cannot stand 'expected behaviour' I dislike doing what I 'should' do. I 'should' go to them and kindly accept whatever it is they have. I 'should' be willing to let them open and close my door as much as they want. Because they're just kids.


Do you know what?
If they'd opened the door and actually given me the thing, I would have done the right thing and been polite and said "Thanks very much" But because they fucking opened it and ran off, that's what irritated me.

Monday, 11 May 2015

Formula 1 Spanish Grand Prix - 8th to 10th May 2015

Catalunya. Catastrophe more like.

The F1 teams at the Circuit de Catalunya. They say it's the perfect track for testing. A reasonable amount of high-speed corners to check your chassis and aero works fine, a whopping long straight to make sure you power unit has the legs and enough slow speed corners to allow you to work on traction.

It's not a bad track by any means, I quite enjoy driving it, (virtually) The first two sectors are quite technical and require absolute precision. The third sector isn't great, with that fiddly chicane at the end of the lap, but the undulation change through there is brilliant.

However. As good as the track is to drive, it has one fundamental issue.

It is difficult to overtake. Unless you're a Bottas, or a Massa and you come up behind a Sainz Jr. or a Verstappen with DRS. Then you may as well be an LMP1 car overtaking a Renault Clio. I felt for the Toro Rosso boys this weekend. They did a great job in qualifying, getting themselves in the top 6 for the race. Then they both got mugged. Nothing they did wrong by the way. Quite simply, their motors simply can't run fast enough. Mercedes and Ferrari have horsepower. Renault has donkey power and Honda, well they're using cows at this point I think. Sounds like a cows rear end anyway.

For Rosberg, it was merely a formality. Take his first win of the season from pole position. He wasn't challenged, he wasn't flustered and built a huge unassailable gap, according to Mercedes. Nico has been on it this weekend. On his day, he's a top class driver, he's just got to have more of his days. Although on the other side of the Mercedes garage, I admired Lewis' attitude towards the end of the race, "Is it impossible or just difficult?" Always up for a challenge, apparently.

The rest? Well. Not much really. Kimi's opening lap was brilliant. Passing both Toro Rosso's around the outside in the middle sector was impressive. But that was lap 1. That was a long time ago, even in highlights by the time you get to the end of the race.

I wish they'd get rid of Catalunya. It's not a track that allows great racing and when Alonso retires, I can't imagine the turnout being quite has high for the albeit impressive Carlos Sainz Jr. or the invisible Roberto Merhi.

I'd like to see it gone. Which is why it has just extended it's contract to the end of 2019...

Oh goody.



Saturday, 25 April 2015

Lovey dovey floppy crap.

I've been single for far too long. My last relationship ended a considerable amount of time ago. So recently, inspired by a friend of mine. I joined a dating site.

I have had literally no success from it. Roughly 10-15 women have viewed my profile, I've messaged a few to which I received no replies. I have 4 who want to meet me but obviously you can't find out who until you pay up which I'm not doing.

There are so many types of people on there which is good. The variety is endless, and as someone who likes to read the profiles rather than simply going off a picture, I have to say it's so irritating when someone simply puts 'ask me' or '...' or 'Yeah I'm not filling this in'

Why do some idiots simply write 'ask me'? Why? Why should I? I went to the effort of writing a wee bit, (obviously) to give people an idea of what I like/dislike and the sort of person I am. Maybe that's why I've had no success. Equally, I don't want to sit there having a conversation for it to die on it's arse three messages in because we've got nothing to talk about.

Put the effort in!

Also, headlines. I don't know whether it's just women, but they write such utter crap. Here's some examples and what I'd like to message them saying:

"Live life" - Oh please continue. You words of wisdom inspire me. You said something that every living person is doing right now subconsciously. In fact they don't get much choice. Stupid phrase.

"Is everyone on here crazy?" - Yes, this is actually a dating site for nutters. I'm sure it's not you just picking up the wrong people. It's all our fault with our crazy antics.

"Darling I'm a nightmare dressed like a daydream" - What the fuck is that supposed to mean? I take it this is a stupid song lyric as I've seen it 3 times so far?

"." - Bring me a hose I'm so hot for this girl I need cooling down. Why? WHY PUT JUST A DOT? THAT IS NOTHING. ARE YOU NOTHING? NO.

"Princess" Oh get out of here with your stupid fantasies of your tall, dark-haired, handsome knight in shining armour coming in on a white stallion breaking the door down to save you. What is this, a fucking fairy-tale?

"What am I doing here?!" I don't know, fuck off.

"Idek" What the fuck is 'Idek' a knock-off IKEA? 

There's a few there, and some are worse than that.

You know what I've realised, I've been single for so long I can't imagine being with someone and having to put with the fancy crap that goes with it.

On that happy note,



So... Formula E?



Also the Chinese GP. I also may have forgotten to write about that. I am sorry about that too. I'm sure you'll cope.



Friday, 24 April 2015

Formula 1 Bahrain Grand Prix - 17th to 19th April 2015

KIMI FINALLY HAD A GOOD RESULT. 2nd place! Good job Iceman!

Now we've got that cleared up. Onto everything else.

The main thing I took from the Bahrain Grand Prix was that the Ferrari's are nothing but annoying for Mercedes. Sure, they come out with fighting talk like, "We want the competition" and, "It's nice to have the challenge" Yeah yeah, I've heard it all before.

Really, all Mercedes want is to turn up, lockout the front row, claim the 1-2 and come home again. Then repeat. All through testing they worked on reliability, almost overconfident that they inherently had the pace over the field. It was almost smug, when they announced they'd basically used one engine throughout entire testing. The team were on a high, they won the constructors and drivers championships last year. I think everyone was under the impression we were in for another year of Mercedes blitzing the field.

We went to Australia and that was all but confirmed. Mercedes looked clear of the field. It was going well. 

Then we got to Malaysia where Ferrari shocked the entirety of the F1 paddock and viewers by snatching victory from the silver arrows. ON PACE. 

Ferrari didn't really challenge Mercedes in China, which was easily latter's territory. They had the grunt on the straight without sacrificing anything through the corners. Maybe Ferrari's challenge was just a one-off.

Now here we are, at Bahrain and all through practice and qualifying it's looked much closer than previously has. And what a race we had. 12 months ago we had a personal 1 and 1 duel between the Mercedes for the win. And it was brilliant, proper wheel-to-wheel, going at it hammer and tongue. Whilst still lapping considerably faster than the competition.

This year though, we had a bit more strategy, but that's not to say we were lacking in battles. Rosberg was on it this race. He was so aggressive yet fair against the Ferrari's. But once again he just didn't quite have the pace to challenge his championship leading team-mate.

But this is the thing, Ferrari are just a headache for Mercedes. Take the first stint. In most cases, the leading driver gets choice on when to pit and racing etiquette suggest the car in front stops first, thus, not allowing the undercut, but because Vettel was closer to Rosberg, when the Ferrari pitted, Mercedes had to pit Rosberg first in order to cover him. However that meant they both had the undercut on race-leader Hamilton. So Hamilton had 5 second lead over second place, after the first round of stops, he came out the pit-lane to see Vettel and Rosberg duelling it out in a flurry of dust and sparks.

The contradictary strategy worked well for Raikkonen and if the race was one lap longer, he could've won it taking advantage of Mercedes' braking issues.

If it's going to be like this for the rest of the season, then I look forward to it.



Monday, 13 April 2015

Microsoft, what happened?

Microsoft. The computer giants. Responsible for some of the most brilliant operating systems ever. Responsible for some of the finest computers the world has ever seen. Responsible for the XBOX 360, the second greatest console (PS2 takes the win. No contest). Responsible then, you would be inclined to believe, for the Xbox One, the greatest console going forward into a new era of gaming.

I originally was all about the Sony consoles, with the aforementioned PlayStation 2. This great console left me under the impression that PS3 would be exceptional. So I went and bought a PlayStation 3. And it was alright, I'm not going to degrade the system. It was a decent machine, like it's predecessor it was extremely easy to use. Sure, it had a curved top which meant you couldn't put anything on it. But overall it was a pretty good successor to the second generation console.

However. It all changed when a friend bought his Xbox 360 over and Forza Motorsport 3 and quite frankly, I was blown away. The graphics were similar but FM3 was so much better than anything Gran Turismo had ever put out. And the console itself? The features. You could have party chats (not something you could do on PlayStation) you could have music on in the background. You could do so much more than the PS3 could manage.

This meant within a week I had myself a 360. and FM3 obviously. It was great fun, and over the years I've treasured my 360. It's getting old now and is showing signs of it's old age. The disc tray is knackered and it's recently got into the irritating habit of simply shutting down unexpectedly for no good reason. But I still use it a lot of the time. Since then I've never looked back, I've never regretted getting rid of my PS3 and I didn't mind paying for online features.

With this in mind, when the Xbox One and PlayStation 4 were announced, it was an obvious choice. However, with all the not so great publicity that came with the Xbox One leading up to it's launch plus it's pretty extortionate price-tag, I refused to buy either until the prices came down and there were some decent titles for them.

But back in October, I took a punt. I went for the Xbox One. Project CARS was near to release, Grand Theft Auto 5 was due to release on the newer consoles so for me, the time was right to invest my hard-earned cash in a new console.

6 months on, and the verdict? I wish I hadn't bothered.

I wish I'd bought myself a PlayStation 4. Project CARS still isn't out, it's rumoured to be out for mid-may... we'll see. Even if it was released, there is one fundamental problem.

The Xbox One, is the most useless piece of crap I've ever bought. I invested over £300 for a console that I rarely use. I still use my 360 more than the One. Firstly, there are still no decent games on the One. It's all arcadey crap that I can't be arsed with. Every game I have bought for the One so far, is a game I already owned on the 360.

Comparing the Xbox 360 to the Xbox One is a bit like comparing your local chippy to the finest restaurant in the land.

The Xbox One is undoubtedly the most complicated console ever to be produced. The graphics are amazing, no question, but everything else is just a pain in the arse. The snapping thing is cool, but it's slow, and constantly pops up with a 'You are not signed in' thing, which is quite obviously a lie when I am. Achievements are so slow to unlock, as in, you can be waiting a day before it decides you've got it.

Trying to get into a party with friends is easy, but then trying to get in their game? Aha, now that's a different story. It's just a faff. It's a pain in the arse and so unbelievably irritating.

It's like Microsoft took the concept of the 360, had a really good look at it, and wondered how they could make it far mare difficult and ridiculous in every way.

For example, to listen to music off a USB whilst playing on the 360 goes like this:

  1. Plug USB into Xbox 360.
  2. Press the Xbox guide, go right once, scroll down 'Select Music'
  3. Click 'Portable Device'
  4. Play All

From there you can skip, shuffle, pause, play, and change volume to an infinite level with a scroll bar so the music isn't too loud or too quiet, you can set it just so. You can also modify the playlist so you can re-arrange songs, take out the ones you don't like. On a side note, you can even rip CD's onto the 360 hard-drive, so you don't have to use a USB and you can save the playlists. Not something you can do on the One.

To listen to music off a USB whilst playing on the One goes like this.

  1. Plug USB into Xbox One.
  2. Wait for device to be acknowledged, hold the Xbox guide button to go to device.
  3. Click 'Portable Media'
  4. Do you want Music or photos and videos?
  5. Do you want to play all? 
  6. This will then snap the 'Portable Media' to the side of the screen, thus reducing your gameplay size.
Also, if you 'un-snap', the music stops. You can't modify the playlist, you can't scroll down to pick another song without going full-screen. Volume? Ah well there isn't volume. What you have to is the following.

  1. Press the guide, hold the lines button, go to 'Settings'
  2. Find 'Display/Audio' (I think, I'm currently listening through my 360)
  3. Go to 'Mixer'
Then what you have, is like a 7 notch scale, where you move the volume balance according to whether you want the main app (game) to be louder or quieter than the snapped app (Portable Media) However the settings screen replaces the main app, you can't actually tell at the time whether the snapped app is louder than the main app or not because it's just silence on the main app. So you have to press the guide again, go back the game, see how the balance is, if it's not right, press the guide again, go to settings, go through the whole rigmarole again.

Ultimately, it'll be too loud or too quiet. You'll never get it right, not like something you could do within seconds on the 360.

Had enough ranting about this stupid console.

Buy a PlayStation 4 folks. Or a PC. Just not a Microsoft one, they can't do simple things.



Thursday, 9 April 2015

Question time.

I recently set up an Ask account (, more as a thing to ask people questions, rather than to answer them, however, once I realised you can answer random questions I found it rather amusing.

However, as fun as it was, I got stopped in my tracks when I was asked, 'Would you want to date yourself, if you were somebody else?' This got me thinking. I suddenly felt very reflective and conscious about my own attitudes and behaviour.

The answer? Absolutely not. I'm a terrible person.

I'm incredibly selfish and have a thing where if somebody is talking, and I'm not interested in what they're talking about, I simply switch off and don't listen to what they're saying. I also can't be doing with pathetic conversations. You know the ones, the really fucking boring ones. Some colleagues of mine are very good at having awful conversations, such as:

"What are you having for dinner tonight?"
"Oh I don't know, might have some mince and potatoes maybe"
"Sounds alright"
"Dunno, probably have a look in the freezer 'n see what we've got. Probably chips 'n something"
"We had chips last night so we won't be having them again tonight"

EXACTLY. What a fucking boring conversation. And that's just one, imagine it EVERY DAY. Have these people got nothing better to talk about?! I can't be doing with conversations like that. Hence why I tend to cut them short immediately,

"What are you having for dinner tonight?"

End. I never ask what they're having, I simply don't care. I didn't care yesterday, I don't care today so I won't care tomorrow. It's like when they tell me what they did last night.

"I had the kids over last night, and we..." 

I've already lost interest in the conversation at this point. It's such an unimaginative conversations. What's worse is when they show you damn photos of their family. Excuse me? Why are you showing me your photos? You can reproduce, congratulations. You took photos? Great, I'm sure you and your family will enjoy looking back at them. I don't give two hoots. GET THEM OUT MY FACE.

Moving on, why else wouldn't I date myself?
Quite simply, I'm fucking boring. I mean, in basic terms, I go to work, come home, play video games. And repeat.

That's fine by me but that's not particularly attractive trait, is it? I'm also very set in my ways, and dislike being told what to do/what I should do. If somebody tells me I should go out and do stuff, that only makes me more determined to continue as I am.

Then take a look at my life? Well, I have a job I enjoy, which is good. But I'm on minimum wage, so it's not like I can afford many great things. I don't drive, and have no intention of learning to. I live with my family still and have no drive whatsoever to do anything new or imaginative. Spontaneity is not my strong point.

Let's not have any more questions like that, eh?

Sunday, 29 March 2015

Formula 1 Malaysian Grand Prix - 27th to 29th March 2015

Just switched the race off, got through the first 30 laps and knew what was coming, couldn't be bothered to watch it. First time I've ever done that. I sat through China/Spain 2013, Russia 2014 but I couldn't manage it.

What's worse, is the races I've mentioned were dull because it was a procession, no overtaking or all about tyre management. This time was different, an early safety car caused by Sauber's not quite so well paying driver Marcus 'Talentless Oaf' Ericcson mixed the pack right up, we had Mercedes in the pack, a Force India and Lotus in the top 3 and a Kimi at the back. 2 years in a row now that Kimi has been hit within the opening laps and had to limp back with a puncture. As I write this now, I don't even know where he finished. He'd just been overtaken by Rosberg. By which I mean, Rosberg cruised up behind him on his fresh tyres and easily breezed by him on the next straight.

I have never switched a race off. I managed not to spoil it for myself whilst at work, I come home and honestly, as soon as the Mercedes pitted under the safety car, I knew Vettel was going to win. What irritates me more is he doesn't work for the wins. I'm sure many people scoffed or frowned at that whilst exclaiming, 'Yes because it's so easy to win a race' The thing is, I dislike Sebastian Vettel greatly, as far as I'm concerned he's a good driver. Not a great driver, he puts it on the front row, and runs away, that's how he wins races. Very rarely has he had extreme pressure all the way through the race. 

In 2011, he walked it, in 2013, the moment Pirelli changed the tyres, he walked it. And 2014, the moment he can't stick it on pole and run away, he falters, getting thrashed by his team-mate in every sense. What's more annoying, the RB10 was a race-winning car. Daniel Ricciardo won 3 races and only once did Vettel stand on the podium when he had that was Canada, where Sebastian finished 3rd. Hungary? Vettel went for a spin all on his own. Spa? He got a wobble on in the early stages at ended up 40/50 seconds behind the leader... his team-mate. He's also less than talented mid-field driver. Take Austria for example, where he ran into the back of a Sauber I think, all on his own, a lap down. 

You'll notice I didn't mention 2012 there. That's simply because despite officially coming runner up, Fernando Alonso was the 2012 champion. No dispute. He drove better all year long and had a car that started out as a pig, and became a warthog with a saddle to give him a bit of a chance. All coming down to the final race, at Brazil, mixed conditions. Perfect recipe for a championship showdown. Alonso finishes 2nd to Button, losing the title by 3 points. But the fact the Vettel took two cars out in Turn 4 on lap 1 and the fact the incident wasn't even investigated was a joke. If it had been anybody else it would've been looked at.

The moment he's back in a really quick car and back on the front row. Look what happens, yet another cruise to victory.

A lot of people are running round now praising what a great job he did and how brilliant he is. Simply because it wasn't a Mercedes who won. I don't care who wins provided it's a good battle to earn it. In 2014 Bahrain, Spain, Hungary, Belgium, Japan,  USA, Brazil all had intense battles for the lead. Whether it was Hamilton, Rosberg or Ricciardo taking the win.

I hate races where the leader just runs off. That was the downside with Mercedes dominance, when one faltered the other just cruised to victory. 2014 was a fantastic season because Hamilton and Rosberg were set for a personal duel for the title, which was highly entertaining. This year... Hamilton seems to have more of an edge over Rosberg. I know it's only 2 races in but there seems to be a sizeable gap between the two this year.

I don't know what it is. Might just be my mood. But I did not enjoy that half-race I watched. I'll get to watching the second half at some point, when I can be bothered.